Ever since my engagement failed it seems that there is a lot that makes me sad. I feel like I am crying often over nothing. I broke down at a wedding reception tonight. I was amazed at how well I was doing for the first hour. Then there was the bouquet toss. All the single ladies were lined up to get the bouquet, and I started bawling because I remembered that I caught a bouquet while I was engaged; it does not seem to have worked. I had to leave soon after I had my mini meltdown because I did not want it to explode into a full on meltdown. These are the emotions that I struggle with, but this is rare.
I do not find myself frequently angry or sad. I spent a long time trying to figure out what I could have done differently. The truth is that there probably were things I could have done differently, but I did them the way I did them. I do not have a TARDIS; I am not a Timelord, and I cannot go back and change things. We can only move forward in time, sift through the ashes, and try and reassemble what is broken.
After the reception I went to Shooters with my friend whom I had caught up with a couple of months ago. I still suck at pool. It is still fun though. It is truly amazing how I can hit a ball right next to a pocket and still not make it in. I then saw a good friend that I had not seen in ages. I actually remembered his name. I don't do that often.
We then went to a bar called Mulligans where we played pictionary whilst they consumed more beverages. I had so much fun with them. We just talked about guitars, singing, and dancing, and cougars...
